I love the beginning of a new year – as I’ve mentioned before, to me it feels the same way a new school year did, a fresh start and another opportunity. I spend some time on each New Year’s Day reflecting upon the previous year and visioning for what’s upcoming. The most recent New Year’s Day was no different, and I have a beautiful written vision along with some specific goals for what I’d like to accomplish this year.
But something happened yesterday that brought me up short. A simple question, really, but somehow I heard it differently this time. “Is that really what you want?”
If you know my story or listen to any of the several podcast interviews I’ve done recently (see the end of this newsletter for a link to one of them), you are aware that my growing-up experiences caused me to become a gifted chameleon – I could be whatever you needed me to be. You too? It was the way I learned to be in order to protect myself. And I am not special in this “chameleon-ness”; soooooo many of the women I work with have similar stories. We’ve disconnected from what we want for many different reasons, but it’s almost always because someone else has expectations of us – or we think they do.
I like to think that I have let go of the masks I have worn to make you think I am who you want me to be. But, in looking at my vision and goals through the lens of that question – “is this really what you want?” – has stopped me in my tracks. And I find myself asking “Who is this goal for? Is this for me or for someone else?” Even though I thought I had given up my “people-pleasing” ways, apparently this is my next frontier.
I don’t know where I’ll end up with all of this. But don’t be surprised if one of these days my newsletter comes to you from Bora Bora.
